Work-Life Balance in Mid-Career

I hear the phrase "work-life balance" so much these days. Typically, in my career counseling practice,  clients refer to needing a job or career with less demands so there is time for leisure, family, hobbies, and relationships. It's a pretty common concern, particularly with those in the early mid-career group. Many say they can't achieve it with the job they are doing. So the first instinct is often to think about a job or career change.

But....wait a minute! Is imbalance in ones life always a problem with the job or career? Sometimes it is, like when the job or career is a bad match and provides little or no sense of passion or meaning. It's a drag to go to work when you can't stand what you do day in and day out. As a result, you would rather do other things, not because you're so strongly drawn to them, but more as an escape.  In this case change to another type of job or career might be in order. Interestingly, some of us seem to not have something else we really want to do but think we would if we were working less hours or weren't working at all. In reality, that's not necessarily true. The many retirees who count the days and hours until retirement and then after a short hiatus end up going back to work are a good example. We all need to have something in our lives that sparks at least some passion and/or meaning whether it's through work or otherwise.

Sometimes imbalance is mostly a job issue, but..... For example, your career is in sales. You took a new sales rep job with high quotas. In prior jobs you had a decent work-life balance, but half the pay. The new job has you on call at all hours and it came with almost impossible sales expectations. Maybe a different job is the answer. However, in these situations I also often hear "I need the salary, but I want to work 8-5 and have my weekends for family. Maybe I could accept a little less money to start, but salary is really important." Well, while this situation is mainly a job issue, it's also confounded by the need to make more money. That often means more time spent with the job and more work pressure. A major career change may not work because the higher paying jobs in most fields will not involve standard work hours and lower expectations for results. And, if that route is taken, you would also have to be ready to commit to more education or training, and often a lower salary for awhile (and maybe forever!). So, the costs of changing a career for more work-life balance may be higher than you really expect or want. Sometimes a job change to a more work-life balance friendly employer can help. However, for the above sales rep, finding high salary opportunities with low sales pressure and no intrusion on personal life would be a challenge.

Sometimes I observe a different work-life balance phenomenon. For some, not having enough time for everything or working lots of hours both day and night is a long term pattern, regardless of the job. It can be the essence of "type A" personality behavior that we say we want to change, but can't. We try, but feel more comfortable in this non-stop pattern than having extra "non-productive" time. Not being productive feels worse. It's not only when at work, but a pattern that characterizes all life functioning. It's good in that it may enhance productivity and accomplishments, but at an emotional  cost. In this instance a change in career probably won't help. However, moving to a job in a work culture that encourages and supports work-life balance may change behavior a little in the direction of a more balanced lifestyle.

In many cases, an imbalance toward work is the most desirable and functional choice. What if you get the greatest meaning out of your life by doing and thinking about the work you do most of your waking hours? According to studies, for a professional worker that may be 50% - 65% of waking time! Is there something that needs to change? Maybe not, or maybe only enough to meet some other basic needs, for example, simple changes that can be made through better scheduling and time management. This balance certainly beats getting up in the morning day after day and feeling that going to work is a drag, even if you're only doing it about 35% of waking hours in a 40 hour/week job. Feeling passion for and meaning in your work-life is a mental health enhancer. Some of the greatest scientific, social, legal, and political contributions come from people who dedicate their lives to their work. Love of work can also counterbalance negative aspects of a personal life such as divorce, death, illness, or non-resolvable conflicts that might otherwise result in severe depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Justice Ginsberg, in a recent speech at the National Book Festival in Washington, D.C., spoke of how her work had "kept me going" through her prior health scares. If imbalance toward work is a life enhancer, then certainly it's a functional choice.

As a side note related to work-life balance, one recent study (2019) of 185 million hours of work by "knowledge workers" (usually professionals and other white collar workers), found an average of 21% of working hours spent on entertainment, news, and social media, and 26% of work being taken home. This suggests that distractions at work may contribute significantly to a loss of work-life balance by forcing productive work to be done outside of normal work hours. The most significant distractors were checking email and IM every 6 minutes, and for many every 3 minutes. Although this is only one study and limited to knowledge workers, the findings make sense. Think about it, if you are a skilled or professional worker who works mainly at a desk, how often do you check email and texts during the day? Those who work mainly at home are even more vulnerable.

The data struck a chord with me, because I easily check every 6 minutes when I am not focused on directly working with clients or in court testimony. I then spend more time on interesting non-work items I come across, or those non work-related emails or texts to which I choose to respond. That certainly expands my day. What if we had no access to texts, IMs, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, personal calls, or even cell phones and similar devices during the work day? It seems that communication habits and proliferation of devices have now injected pieces of the "life balance" side directly into work life. So how well can some of us really separate work and life? Do we really want to?

So what I'm seeing is that work-life balance is a significant concern for many people in mid-career. How to improve it depends on the cause(s) of imbalance and whether a change can or even needs to be made. It's an individual matter. Major changes in type of job and career are only sometimes the answer. Usually, smaller adjustments are better than large changes because they are more predictable and cause less overall life disruption. Small changes can also lead to big results. An exception is when there is a bad or dysfunctional work match and there are enough work years left to make a big correction and overcome the disruption. Some of my clients complain that they never liked what they were doing, it was something their parents encouraged, and now 10-20 years later they still hate it. They want to escape to a more meaningful work life and have the means to do it. Now is the time to plan and carry out the big change. I agree with that.

Simpler work related adjustments to improve work-life balance can include options such as asking an employer to allow working at home. With work at home alternatives a disciplined approach is needed to maintain productivity and avoid the distractions indicated by the study above. Changing jobs (same type of job) to an employer with policies and a culture that encourages balance is another option. A way to do this during a job search is to first locate employers whose workplace has these  characteristics and which employ people in your field. Then concentrate your job search only on those organizations.

Considering the study above, changing a work pattern that involves heavy use of personal electronic devices at work to do non-work tasks could help a lot in keeping work within the bounds of a standard work day. It's a difficult pattern to break, particularly if you work at home. Some of us may really not want to break up the current mix....a tough choice to make and implement. Of course some employers try to exert control by restricting access to certain websites on company computers or with cell phone use policies. When working at home, you, the employee, really controls that.

Finally, if you really love your work, spend most of your time doing and thinking about it, and are not harming anyone, just continue doing that and balance only as much as you really need!

To find out more strategies and a different perspective for dealing with work-life balance, check out Jordan Ring's excellent work-life balance post and specific tips.